Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice
by firedraygon
Summary: Here there be more DN crack for your viewing pleasure. XP Mostly Raito x L in nature. Written for the 20 Themes challenge on LJ. Have fun!


AN: I do not own Death Note. This was written for the 20 Themes challenge on LJ. XP The word count for each drabble is in the brackets. Lots of these are Raito x L, and most of them are crack. Enjoy, and please tell me which ones you like best. XD

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**1. Carnival (100)**

Raito studied his target. He calculated the degree at which to release the ball, the magnitude of force required, the amount of spin and released his shot perfectly. The ball lobbed in the air and landed directly into the basket.

Too easy.

"Excellent work!" said the man, gesturing towards the shelf with an assortment of paraphernalia. "What'll it be?"

"I'll have this, thank you."

Walking away from the stand, he held out his prize. To other people, if they'd been looking, it would have seemed as though the candy apple disappeared into thin air.

At least someone was satisfied.

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**2. Social Graces (170)**

"That's disgusting," Raito stated, looking at the man next to him with a small grimace.

"Your point?" asked L, with jelly from his doughnut oozing from the side of his mouth. A pink tongue darted out to lick up the gooey goodness.

"People are staring." Raito said, holding out a napkin. When the other didn't make any move to take it, Raito glared and shoved it into his hand roughly. The girl at the counter giggled and turned away, blushing.

"What would you think," L took a sip from his cup of sugar with coffee "if you saw two fairly good-looking men come into a café and sit beside each other at a table rather than across "

"That was to conceal the chain better," Raito interrupted, rattling said chain for emphasis.

"while one forsakes his own dessert simply to gaze at the other?" To make his point, L swiped his finger over the icing on the untouched piece of lemon meringue and popped it in his mouth.

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**3. Sexuality/Criminality (100)**

"Ryuuzaki, it's dripping."

"Ah, so it is."

L licked the sticky white mess trickling down his fingers and trailed his tongue up the shaft to the tip. He nibbled on the base.

"What the hell are you doing? You're not supposed to bite it."

"Are you criticizing my technique now, Raito-kun?"

"No. Do what you like."

"Oh I _will_."

L meticulously sucked and licked and bit and finally finished, all the while making a mess on the front of his shirt. Raito shuddered in revulsion when L began to clean his hands of the milky residue.

Raito preferred Fudgesicles anyway.

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**4. Hour Glass (100)**

The pyjama-clad man sat on the sofa, knees drawn up to his chest, eyes unblinkingly watching the screen. Next to him, Raito shifted uncomfortably. He really needed to go to the bathroom, but each time he got up, he was yanked down again by the chain that bound them.

"Ryuuzaki, this is stupid and you know it."

"I don't say anything when you watch your reality TV shows."

"Fine, but I really have to " He was cut off by a hand signal.

"Shh! It's starting."

"_Like sands through the hour glass, so are the Days of Our Lives..."_

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**5. English Breakfast (140)**

"Come on, Ryuuzaki, get this one so we can start catching up."

L nodded, face grim with determination. Raito picked a card and read aloud, "Breakfast." Matsuda flipped the timer and the round commenced.

Raito drew a muffin, to which L called out, "Cupcake. It's a cupcake. Wait, no, a strawberry tart, isn't it?"

Raito frowned and drew the British flag.

"England. The English drink tea. A tea cake then? No?"

Frustrated, Raito redrew a muffin next to the flag and put a '+' sign in between. L was about to spout out a list of European desserts, when Misa called out, "Time!"

"It was an English muffin. English " he circled the flag "muffin." He circled the muffin.

"Looks like a cupcake to me."

Raito snapped the pencil in his grip. L was surprisingly bad at Pictionary.

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**6. One-half of a Photograph (100)**

Raito could not recall what he had been doing at the subway station the day Raye Penbar was killed. He knew he was missing details of his life before being chained to Ryuuzaki, and it disturbed him.

"It's too strange. My photographic memory just isn't supposed to shut down temporarily."

L opted to remain silent, analyzing this new piece of data.

In an attempt to cheer her self-proclaimed (meaning her claim, not Raito's) boyfriend up, Misa latched onto his arm and nuzzled her cheek against him. "Don't worry, Raito! Misa feels like half her mind is missing all the time!"

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**7. Empirical Law (100)**

The man sat against the concrete walls of his prison cell and hummed a song that was terribly out of tune. He looked down at his hands and recalled how the red liquid had dripped between his finger tips. He dragged his thumb across his lips and grinned.

A few hundred million yen expended, and now he only had to wait two more hours before he was out of this hell hole. Money was a beautiful thing.

Suddenly, his heart seized and white, hot pain shot up through his left arm.

Yes, in Kira's world, what goes around, comes around.

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**8. Suicide, Self-Destruction (100)**

Through a veil of tears, she dug up the familiar black note book and turned to a clean page.

"Misa can't take it anymore."

"Are you sure about this? As amusing as this is, I doubt it is a part of Raito's plans."

"Don't you see, Ryuuku? This is the only way. The only way to make Raito truly Misa's."

Slowly but surely, Misa lifted her ball-point pen and wrote in big, loopy letters:

'_Yagami Raito and Amane Misa, in life, in love, and in death. Together forever.'_

Forty seconds later, the death reaper's sandpaper laugh echoed in the woods.

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**9. "Perfect Score" (120)**

L's heart thumped madly in his chest, but he was unable to hear it over the roar of the car's engine. He gripped the dashboard tightly, and his toes curled around the plush cover of the passenger seat. For the first time in over two decades, he was scared for his life.

"Raito-kun, this is a school zone!"

"Yes, but it's 2:35 and the students are still learning. No worries."

A ball bounced onto the street, and Raito violently swerved to narrowly miss the following toddler. He shook his head. "Kids these days."

L took a moment to collect his wits, then asked, "How did you ever manage to get your license?"

"I aced the written test. Why?"

"No reason."

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**10. Voyeurism (100)**

Before, L used to monitor Raito by means of strategically placed cameras in his house. His favourite time of day was 8:30, when Raito took his daily shower (L kept a record from each camera in case, you know, he missed something the first screening) and put on pyjamas for the night.

Now, he didn't have to watch from a screen anymore.

"Raito-kun, would you like me to wash your hair?"

"...I don't see why we can't take the chain "

"Herbal Essences or Head and Shoulders?" asked L, already knowing the answer.

Raito sighed and took the bottle.

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**11. **(took out 'Residual ', substituted) **Blind**** and Deaf (100)**

A lingering touch, a heated glance, flirtatious innuendo: to these things, the other investigators, and Misa, were blind and deaf. That did not mean, however, that the two were careless in their acts.

"Ryuuzaki, my father is in the other room," Raito said, withdrawing from his lover's hold. The dark haired one tightened his grip and whispered seductively into his captive's ear.

"I know, Raito-kun."

"If you know, then st Ohhhh...that feels good."

"What was that?" A chuckle.

"Stop, Ryuuzaki, the door "

"Is already locked."

"And the cameras?"

"I've taken care of them."

Raito grinned and pounced.

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**12. Eden, Loss of Eden**

Raito surveyed his surroundings: blue skies, tall trees, everyone loving each other in a world of perfect harmony. His ideal world, where criminals cowered in the shadows from fear of Kira, and every law abiding person was free to do as he or she so pleased. Here, he was god.

He looked down and sighed. He checked his watch impatiently, waiting for what he knew would come. This was a dream, because it was just too good to be true. That, and he was floating in mid-air.

Surely enough, moments later he awoke to a kick from a sleeping bedmate.

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**13. 4:00am (200)**

Raito's eyes glazed over and he began to nod off as the clock neared 4:00AM. He was used to studying late into the night during high school, but the past week of virtually no sleep since he joined the Kira investigation was taxing on both his mind and body. It was pointless to search for clues that he knew didn't exist, but if he didn't demonstrate his willpower to L now, he'd never be able to gain the other's trust.

"Go to sleep, Raito-kun. You have school in the morning."

He blinked hard, gathered his thoughts, and launched into the righteous speech he had prepared for this exact occasion. "No, how can I sleep when there's a possibility of catching Kira all the more quickly, and thus save the lives of "

"If you don't sleep, my suspicions of you will increase."

That certainly got his attention. "What? That doesn't make any sense."

"If you are Kira, then you are trying to show me your dedication so that I will let my guard down."

"I'm not Kira!"

"Then prove it."

"Fine then, I will."

In the morning, when Raito woke up, he read the note: '23' and kicked himself.

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**14. **(replaced Machiavellian with) **Midday Sun (125)**

"Ryuuzaki."

"Yes, Misa-san?"

"What on Earth are you wearing!"

L examined himself and wondered what Misa's problem was. "I'm wearing a trench coat."

Raito then patiently explained to L that the beach was a time to soak up some sun and enjoy the good weather, not sweat to death in a leather jacket. Since the team had decided on taking a day off, they had decided on going to the ocean side, much against the protest of L (but really, who could argue against Matsuda's, "Just think about how much vitamin D you're lacking!"?).

"I sunburn easily."

"In that case, Ryuuzaki, I have lots of sunscreen! PABA-free!" Matsuda interjected cheerfully.

L pulled his coat up closer and resigned himself to spending a day with idiots.

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**15. **(Generic Tokyo is replaced by)** Process of Elimination (125)**

"001?"

"Look at him. He looks more like security than a psychotic mastermind. Hatori?"

"Him! His hair is just...no. What about Kida?"

"He dresses like he doesn't know what occasion it is. Midou."

"Ryuuzaki, I know you still suspect me, but honestly, stop bringing it up!"

"I'm just saying, Raito-kun. Does he look like a killer to you?"

"No, he looks like a mamma's boy Shut up. Anyway, Namikawa."

"He's awfully pretty."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. We can't have another one in the series. Shimura then."

"He looks like a pansy. Takahashi."

"His mustache creeps the hell out of me, so no."

"Well then, all that's left is Higuchi."

"Alright, then Higuchi will be our main suspect."

"Oh, we are geniuses."

"Yes, indeed."

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**16. Cell (100)**

The little, pink phone was answered before it started into the lyrics of the Card Captor's opening theme song.

"_Hi, Raito! Misa loves you! Misa's on her break right now!"_

"Mm, that's nice, Misa-san."

"_Ryuuzaki! Why are you answering Raito's cell phone? Misa gave that to him so Misa could talk to him, not you!"_

"Raito-kun's mouth is a little preoccupied at the moment. Can he call you back?"

"_No, Misa wants to talk to Raito! She hasn't spoken to him all day! Make Raito come!"_

"I'll be sure to do that, Misa-san."

And then L hung up on her.

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**17. Apocalyptic Cults (100)**

Raito took a sip of his coffee (just black, thank you), looked at the computer screen, and promptly sprayed his drink onto said screen.

"Why are pictures of me posted on this site! What the I see you've stumbled upon Misa-san's project."

L wiped the droplets and read aloud from the page: "'_In honour of reaching one million hits, here is a picture of our beautiful Raito-sama brushing his teeth! Asterisk giggle asterisk_.' I'm impressed."

"But How!"

"I gave her the doubles I accidentally printed off, and she decided to share."

"...I hate you."

"I know."

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**18. Oxymoron (125)**

The silence was deafening.

It was well past his fourth cup of coffee before Raito noticed that he and L were alone together. The other investigators must have gone home for the night, he concluded, and stretched his stiff muscles. His joints popped.

"Raito-kun, did you look over those original copies I gave you?"

"Yes, but they had almost exactly the same information as the last report. Old news."

"Key word is 'almost'. Now then, what did you find?"

"The criminal justice system is headed for reform due to Kira's activities."

"What do you think of this?"

"In my unbiased opinion, a little reform is in order, but not to appease a psychopath's demands."

"So you agree with the goal, not the reason."

"Same difference."

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**19. Public Transportation, Buses (100)**

The bus lurched and Raito, having gotten up to offer his seat, lost his footing. He fell sideways onto the person beside him.

"Sorry, I " The vehicle stopped abruptly, causing him to lose his balance and smash his face into the person's knee. "Ow..."

"Yagami-san, was it?"

Raito looked up and realized that he was kneeling between Ryuuga Hideki's propped up legs. He stood hastily.

"Sorry."

There was a ghost of a smile on the other's lips. "Not a problem. Care to have a seat?" He shifted over.

"No thank you, I'm fine."

Raito hated taking the bus.

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**20. Stagnation/Disease (100)**

After the climax of their hot, hot sex, they laid next to each other in bed, the sheets covering their naked, sweaty torsos. Raito was content as content as he could be, attached to a person who suspected him of murder and was most definitely satiated.

L reached into the bedside drawer and withdrew a small paper bag.

"Raito-kun, I asked Watari earlier this week to pick that up for our use."

"Oh really?" Raito said suggestively, opening the bag and peering inside. "What do we have "

The bottle of Viagra chipped one of L's teeth.


End file.
